Walking with God and Working Through Depression

Is that an actual thing? Can you be in God and suffer from depression? Well, my friends, I am a living witness. You sure can! For those who have read "The Road That Brought Me Here," you know the battles I went through dealing with depression. I know many people believe and have said that if you are "saved," you can't be depressed. I don't know what is further from the truth. We are the first human beings in the natural world. SECONDLY, we are supernatural beings operating in the supernatural realm. Therefore, we experience life, tests, trials, emotions, and the like. It is how we handle it that matters.

First of all, you have to be able to identify when you are battling depression versus when you are just sad, lonely, tired, or mourning. In my experiences (there were many), it always started with disappointment, and then it just went downhill from there. I was disappointed that something or some situation didn't go how I thought it would or wanted it to. Then, I would hold on to that disappointment, thinking about it and meditating on it. Then, I began thinking that things would never change. Then, because I felt hopeless, I began to feel sad. Then, the sadness turned into numbness and complacency about life and the world to the point where I didn't care about anything or anyone, and I'd find myself lying around in a blank state, thinking about nothing at all. I sleep all the time and only put effort into what I have to do, not wanting to do anything else.

It took some time for me to get to that state of depression. It was a process; it took days for my mind to lead me into a dark place where it was easier to do nothing and think nothing.

Then, there was a completely different level and experience of depression when I lost my daughter (spoiler alert if you haven't read the book). That was a level of darkness I had never experienced before and hadn't experienced since then. I felt sorrow and an incomprehensible emptiness there. I didn't eat and barely drank anything. All I did was sleep, thinking that was going to take the pain away, but it didn't, and for three months. I just lay in anguish.

But one morning, the heaviness lifted. As it did every time I found myself in a state of depression. I am inclined to believe that it was because someone was praying for me somewhere. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer. However, I am not naive enough to believe that is all it takes. In the past, when I suffered from depression, I had no idea that's what it was. Without knowledge, people perish. I didn't realize that I was dealing with depression until recently, I want to say about two years ago.

I, like many people, was told that "Christians" don't suffer from depression because it's not God, and I only partially agree with that. What I felt, my disappointment, my sorrow, and my emotions were all real. However, my mentality and the way that I dealt with those emotions and feelings were demonically influenced. We hear people talk about spiritual warfare all the time, and some people have the impression that it is a loud, strong, tarrying prayer. But in actuality, when you are personally engaging in spiritual warfare, you are at war in your mind. I am not saying that there aren't battles in the spiritual realm. We have evidence of that in Daniel 10: 12-13, but this is another aspect. My problem was that when I began to feel disappointment and other emotions, I gave in to them. I allowed them to take hold of me. I allowed them to overtake my mind and draw me into a place of depression when what I should've done was cast the thoughts away and begin to think about things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, and of good report. (Php 4:8)

Our ability to fight depression stems solely from what we think and meditate on. If we can change that and think about positive things, then we will have a strategy to fight depression and gain victory over it. Now, I will not sit here and say it is easy because IT IS NOT. I am speaking from experience. But it is possible to muscle up an ounce of strength to fight. Here are some ways to help you to fight depression:

1. Identify it at the beginning stage.

Once I became aware that I suffered from depression, I took note of what the trigger was; for the most part, each time, it was triggered after disappointment. So now, when I am faced with disappointment, I observe my thoughts, and when I hear thoughts that will cause me to wallow in disappointment, for instance, "This always happens to you," or "Nothing ever goes the way that you want," and "It's never going to happen for you so you should just give up." I would immediately cut them off and cast them away. Then, I began to think about the promises and faithfulness of God.

2. Talk it out!

Find someone close to you, someone you trust, and who is spiritual enough to talk you through and or pray with you. To strengthen you to rise above or stay above depression. Talking to yourself helps as well. I do it constantly; I'll say loudly, "Uh uh, not today." My favorite saying, thanks to KB, is "Not today, satan!" LOL, listening to the song helps, too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9ZnzpwRyKo

3. Meditate/Study the Word

It's hard to replace evil thoughts that will lead you into depression with good thoughts when you have nothing to replace them with. It is important to have a well full of scriptures that remind you of the things that God has promised you and some that talk about God's faithfulness.

So, to sum it all up, your emotions are real, your feelings are real, and depression may be real, But it does not have to be real for you. Be Free!