Forgivness: The Key to Ultimate Happiness

It's all about perception. When we think about forgiveness, we believe it is for the person who did us wrong. But in actuality, forgiveness is for the person who has been wronged.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.".................Mahatma Gandhi

Have you ever had someone do you wrong, and you were all broken down by it and bummed and sad? Then you see that person, and they are laughing and happy? You wonder, "How could they just sit over there laughing and joking around when they know they did me wrong? " Truth of the matter is, most people who have wronged you will not remember or care about how they made you feel. The only person left feeling salty is you.

I saw a demonstration once where a person was asked to take a sip of water. So they took a sip. Then, they were asked to take a sip after bleach was poured into the cup. Obviously, they refused. When asked why, they said it would not be good for their health. The person doing the demonstration then stated that was what unforgiveness was holding on to something someone did to you, which was like drinking bleach and expecting the other person to be harmed. Forgiveness is for you, not them.

Offense; a root of unforgiveness.

“ We should be too big to take offense and too noble to give it.......... Abraham Lincoln.”

When it boils down to it, there is no need to forgive if you don't get offended. Here is a little transparent story I would like to share.

When I was a child, from elementary school through middle school, I fought a lot. I mean sleeves up, fists out fighting. If you said something I didn't like, we fought. If you looked at me wrong, we fought. You would catch these hands if I thought you might have said something about me. I was so easily offended that I took to heart everything that was said to me, and boy, could I hold a grudge. Once I got into high school, I vowed to make a change, and I did, not a better one, just a different one. You have to read "The Road That Brought Me Here " for more details about that. It wasn't until I grew up and gave my life to the Lord that I began to really be able to conquer the spirit of offense. This is not to say that the enemy does not try to enter occasionally, but I have some tools that I use to keep me from slipping into offense.

Tools to stay out of offense and walk in Forgiveness

1. Know what and who you are.

Once you become confident in your God-given identity, what others say and believe about you becomes completely irrelevant.

2. Ignore, ignore, ignore

I know it sounds easier than it is, but being able to ignore what is being said about you or being done to you is a great way to walk in forgiveness and out of offense.

3. See people as God sees them

This takes a level of maturity in God. If you can see the good in people no matter how they act, you have a one-up on the devil. The book/movie The Shack beautifully illustrates how to do this.

4. Know that hurting people hurt people

It has been my experience that people who are dealing with their own demons tend to lash out and attack people. Insecurity, jealousy, anger, and bitterness can cause people to treat others negatively to avoid dealing with their issues.

“ Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. -Martin Luther King, Jr.

The ultimate tool for walking in forgiveness and not in the spirit of offense is Love. The more we become like God and walk in his character of loving everyone, the easier it will be to forgive. Agape love, God's love, is unconditional, which means no matter what people do and how they treat you, you need to love them through it.

Please know that forgiveness is a process. It does not happen overnight. Once you have chosen to forgive someone, you have to continue to choose to forgive. Walk out the tools above, and you will begin to see that the things that people used to do don't really bother you anymore, and your heart will become less and less heavy.

Get Inspired

To learn more about forgiveness and the spirit of offense, click to watch,

Don't Take the Bait, by Pastor David S. Winston

Also, The Prison of Offense, by Pastor Steven Furtick

Also, stay tuned for my book titled Declarations that Heal. There will be an entire chapter devoted to how to get healed/ delivered from unforgiveness.